A third of the way through!

The past few weeks have been a bit uppy downy in terms of wanting a glass of wine or two. On one hand, not physically seeing friends or being able to go out means that you don’t get as many opportunities to have a drink. On the other hand, not physically seeing friends or being able to go out means that you really want a drink! Also, this whole lockdown thing is now getting pretty boring!

Lockdown has also given me loads of time to think about things, probably a little too much. Those of you who know me well know I am an overthinker anyway, so having so much time on my hands could be a double edged sword. Mainly though, it has given me a chance to re-focus, and really think about why I am doing a year free of alcohol, and the reasons are:

1. I was starting to depend on it too much

2. I wanted to experience everything that happens in a year (birthdays, holidays, good days, bad days) without alcohol, to re-calibrate my relationship with it

3. I wanted to lose some weight.

Well, so far, 1 and 2 are going ok, but I appear to have replaced alcohol with cake. A shit ton of cake. So, for the past few weeks I have been focusing on my diet. Being at home has given me the perfect opportunity to do this. We are cooking from scratch alot more, eating tons more fresh fruit and vegetables, and we are planning our meals more effectively. Also, Guy has built me a new mountain bike, and joss is now old enough that she can come with us on Guy’s bike, so we have been doing more exercise. So far so good!

In terms of overthinking, I have also found myself panicking about what I will do when the 1st January comes around… Will I start drinking again? What will people think if I do / don’t? I know it’s not worth thinking about, and at this moment in time it doesn’t matter, but as i say…. Too much time to think!

One thing I really do appreciate though, is that at least once a week, somebody sends a message to say they are following my blog. This is usually accompanied by messages of support such as “what a fab thing to do” or “well done, I couldn’t do it” or “you have made me think about my own relationship with alcohol”. I had one today actually, from someone who I cared for very much, and was a big part of my life around 16-17 years ago, then we sort of lost touch. We see each other on the odd occasion, but not as much as we used to, due to life / circumstances / getting older / me being boring and not going out as much / living in different countries(!) (select all applicable!). So, to have a little chat, and for them to say that they were following my blog and offer words of encouragement meant a great deal to me.

So, as long as people are still reading, and still interested in following my journey, I will keep posting!

Right, must get some sleep; long commute in the morning. Ha ha….