There is a well known parable about some blind men, and an elephant. They come across an elephant for the first time, and each of them touch a different part of the elephant, for example its tusk, or trunk. Because the elephant is so big, and whatever they have touched is their only experience, they take whatever part they touched to be the truth, and how they imagine an elephant to be. Even if the men could see, if they all approached the elephant from different directions, their experiences would still be very different. Although this parable has religious roots and moral lessons, I think its a very good metaphor for life in general, and that very often, we are looking at the same elephant, just from different perspectives.
Whatever we experience, whether it’s good, bad, or somewhere in the middle, we see it from our viewpoint. One perspective. How we perceive that experience is dependant on many things; our previous experiences, how we are feeling at the time…. Loads of things! Then there is time. If something festers for a long time, our memory of that experience evolves. Other experiences infect our memory, and without getting another viewpoint, this continues to be the ‘truth’. So until you sense check it with someone else, you will only have that one viewpoint.
Part of the reason for starting this blog was to invite those different viewpoints, different opinions; I really do welcome them.
This really hit home to me this week with something totally unrelated to my sober journey. Turns out I had a very narrow view of something that happened a while ago. Getting another viewpoint has changed my perception entirely, and for the better. I only wish I had opened up about it sooner!
I suppose there are two main points to this particular post:
1. Don’t bottle stuff up. Talk to somebody if something is bothering you. Please.
2. Remember, not everyone sees things the way you see them, and there may be a number of reasons why.
One year: No booze, no takeaways 